Ripples
by tinx-r
Summary: Post-Echoes, What happened on Cody's first day in the sun...  Read as preslash or gen smarm


**Ripples**

"You haven't caught anything, Nick."

My bucket's empty, but for all I know I've lost a hundred fish this afternoon. I'm not watching the rod, I'm watching the waves, the water, the glint of sun on the Riptide's paintwork. Anything except Cody, whole and healed at last, the bullet that nearly killed him behind us with the case.

If I look at him, I'll cry.

_I nearly lost him._

It's all I can think, even now that he's home, smiling and sipping his beer, telling Murray some story about his favorite nurse, the one who used to slip him extra ice cream. I'm not listening to his words, just his voice, his laugh, letting them start the parts of me that stopped while he was gone.

_I nearly lost him._

Every moment he was away I wished that it was me. I sat beside him, held his hand, tried to call him home and prayed that wherever he'd gone, he heard me. I smiled for Murray and tried to believe them when they told me Cody was gonna make it.

They told me how strong he was, that he was a fighter. No-one's got to tell me about that. I know it like no-one else can, without his strength I wouldn't have come back from Vietnam. Without him fighting for me I'd be dead a hundred times by now.

I was so damned scared that this was gonna be the fight he'd lose.

_I nearly lost him._

It was close - too close - an inch the other way, he'd have been dead.

The doctor told me that, right after he told me Cody'd made it, that he was gonna be fine. I didn't believe it, though, not really, not until the next morning. Not until Cody woke up.

He didn't move, didn't open his eyes, but I knew all the same. I started crying, right there, and didn't stop until he squeezed my hand and asked me what the hell was wrong.

I couldn't tell him - I got no words to tell him what it felt like, looking at the world and trying to imagine it without him. To eat and sleep and breathe without him by my side.

_Without him, I got nothing left to lose._

_

* * *

_Cody had caught two fish and a half-hour's worth of rays, and didn't want to admit he was tired. But the glare off the water was making him queasy, and the ache was sinking deeper through his shoulder, burning into his chest and turning his bones to water.

He felt a nibble on his line and nearly dropped his rod as pain shot up his arm. Setting his teeth, he propped the rod in its support, admitting, for once, that discretion was the better part of valor.

"You were right about this sling," he said out loud, glancing at Nick. "It's giving me one hell of a tan line. I'm gonna go inside."

Nick jumped as though someone had shot him, staring at Cody as though he'd seen a ghost.

"Nick?" Cody reached a hand out uncertainly. "You okay?"

"Uh... yeah." Nick shook himself, then pasted on a smile that didn't fool Cody for a second. "Some good fishing, huh?"

Cody looked at Nick's empty bucket, his line swinging loose. On his other side, Murray stared somberly at the horizon, brown eyes far away. "Yeah, the fishing's all right." Cody cleared his throat, and put prevarication aside. "Nick... I gotta get out of the sun for a while."

Nick's expression changed instantly to one of concern, and despite Cody's protestations of being fine, he abandoned his own rod and shepherded Cody inside.

From outside came the sound of Murray packing away the fishing equipment. Cody sat down at the table and dropped his head into his hands, rubbing his temples. "Sorry," he muttered. "Nick, you guys don't have to come in on my account - "

"Fish weren't biting, anyhow." Nick laid a gentle hand on the back of Cody's neck. "Tell me, huh? Is it your shoulder? Your back? What?"

"No... nothing really..." Cody looked up into Nick's worried blue eyes. "The sun was giving me a headache, that's all. And my arm's a little sore, I guess."

"A headache?" Nick laid his other hand on Cody's forehead and frowned. "You're kinda hot, guy."

Cody blinked slowly. "I don't feel so good, I guess."

Murray came in, awkwardly carrying their rods, looking concerned. Nick took the hardware, stowing it into the overhead brackets, and Murray dropped down on the seat next to Cody. "Are you okay? Boy, it sure was hot out there."

"I think he's had a bit too much sun, Murray." Nick squeezed Murray's shoulder then leaned closer to Cody still looking worried. "You still with us, man?"

Cody blinked again, painfully. His eyes felt sore, dry and swollen. "Yeah." He swallowed incipient nausea. "I - I'm fine."

"Sure you are." Nick exchanged a worried glance with Murray. "Listen, Boz. How about you take us in, and I'll see if I can get Cody cooled off?"

"Oh, sure, Nick." Murray was instantly all concern, bouncing to his feet. "I'll pull the anchor, and I reckon we'll be home before supper time. Do you think I ought to radio the doctor?"

Nick looked doubtfully at Cody, who had paled visibly under his tan. "I think it's just the sun. I think he just overdid it. Let's get him home then see, okay?"

Cody felt the thrum of the Riptide's engines come to life under his feet, and then Nick's strong arm around him, helping him to stand. He expected the stairs but instead Nick eased him on to the couch, laying him down gently and placing something soft under his head.

Cody turned his head, pressing his cheek against Nick's hand. "Nick."

"I'm here, pal. You're okay. Just rest a minute, all right? I'm gonna get you cooled off, and you're gonna feel a whole lot better."

Cody didn't feel too hot any more, but in this as in so many other things, he was content to trust Nick. He closed his eyes, whimpering as he felt Nick's presence disappear from his side.

"I'm back, man. It's okay." Nick's footsteps sounded loud on the carpeted deck, and then his gentle hands were easing Cody out of the patterned Hawaiian shirt. Cody tried to move to help, wincing as he twisted his shoulder. "No, Cody, stay still. Let me."

Panting, Cody let Nick ease him back to the bench. Nick frowned as he looked over Cody's chest, laying a gentle hand over the gauze-covered wound the surgeons had made extracting the bullet. It felt cool and dry, and the bandage showed no sign of bleeding. Carefully, Nick half-rolled his partner over, inspecting his back.

Cody was black and blue around the original bullet wound, but the wound itself looked fine. There was no heat and no bleeding, and although Cody winced when Nick probed the place, that was just the bruising, Nick decided. He nodded to himself, and wrung out a facecloth in the cool water he'd brought.

Nick applied the cool, damp cloth to Cody's forehead, then moved it to his neck and cheeks. Cody's breathing steadied almost immediately and he started to relax, leaning into Nick's touch. He still felt queasy, but the incipient throbbing headache withdrew until it was little more than a tightness behind his eyes.

"Feel better?" Cody opened his eyes slowly and smiled. Nick, looking far less worried, was bending over him, still gently bathing his face with the cool washcloth.

"Yeah," he agreed, and started to sit up.

Nick helped him gently. "Tell me if you're still feeling sick," he advised. "I got a bucket here if you need it, man."

Cody grinned ruefully. "I hope it's not gonna come to that. But thank you for being prepared."

"Anytime." Nick grinned back, keeping his arm around Cody. "Here, drink this."

Cody sipped obediently, then screwed up his face. "I don't like ginger beer. Don't we have any coke?"

"I know you don't, man, but right now, it's the best thing for you, all right?"

"'M not seasick."

"Of course you're not seasick," Nick said affectionately, raising the glass to Cody's lips again. "But you're sun-sick, and the cure's the same. Come on. Drink up."

Screwing up his face again, Cody sipped obediently. Usually he'd have argued, but he felt so tired, and it was so nice to be close to Nick, held and supported. The ginger beer was a small price to pay. A few minutes later, he had to admit he felt better.

"Maybe there's something in that after all," he said grudgingly.

"Just take it easy. Is it time for your pills yet?"

"I guess." Cody sighed and raised a hand, massaging his temples again.

"You still got a headache?"

"Oh... not really." Cody leaned into his partner. "I just don't quite feel right, you know?"

"I know." Nick squeezed his shoulders gently. "Why don't you lie down again, okay? I'lll get you your pills, then you take a nap, all right?"

Before Cody could answer, Nick had moved away, heading down the stairs toward their room. Cody felt another wave of nausea, and his headache throbbed more strongly behind his eyes. Slowly, he lay down, listening anxiously for Nick's return.

"Here you go." Nick wasn't long, handing Cody his assortment of painkillers and antibiotics and holding the cup while Cody drank them down. He perched on the side of the bench as Cody lay back down, and stroked his friend's cheek gently. "You're gonna feel fine in a minute," he reassured gently.

Cody nodded slowly. "Hope so," he whispered. He raised one hand, reaching for Nick.

Nick looked at him for a moment, then took his hand. "Okay?"

"Okay when you're with me." Cody closed his eyes, aware he sounded needy but still too weak and tired - still too shaken from the shooting, if it came right down to it - to try to dress it up. He needed Nick: it was as simple as that.

Nick exhaled shakily and moved a little closer. "I'm with you, Cody. Don't you ever doubt that, baby."

Cody smiled and gripped Nick's hand a little tighter. His sickness fell away, and sleep came for him gently.

* * *

Murray eased the Riptide into her slip cautiously, then leaped out to tie her up. No-one came from below to help and he hurried, worrying. Cody hadn't looked well when they'd started to come in, and if Nick still couldn't leave him - well, Murray wished he'd followed his instincts and radioed the doctor ahead of time.

He jumped clumsily back over the rail, barely keeping his feet, and hurried into the salon. "Nick! Guys! Is everything - "

Murray stopped short. Cody was stretched full length on the bench-seat, and Nick was perched beside him, holding his hand. But what had stopped Murray in his tracks was the fact that Nick's other hand was over his face, totally failing to disguise that Nick was crying like his heart was breaking.

"Nick," Murray said more soberly, hurrying forward. "Nick, what's happened? Is Cody..."

Nick lowered his hand from his face. Two large tears rolled down his cheeks and more welled up in his eyes. "Shh," he managed. "Cody's sleeping. It's okay... He's okay."

"And what about you?" Murray patted Nick's shoulder hesitantly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Nick said, taking a careful deep breath and swiping a few tears from his face. He arranged his features into the worst fake smile Murray had ever seen. "I'm great."

"Sure you are." Murray tried an encouraging smile back. "You want to come help me with the fish? You think Cody'll be hungry when he wakes up?"

Nick choked off a sob. "I dunno, Murray. But I can't come help... Cody wanted me to stay."

Murray nodded, holding up a hand immediately. He'd been an interested observer on this boat long enough to know that anything Cody wanted, Nick made damn sure he got. He looked Cody over, noting that his color looked much better and his breathing was slow and deep. There didn't seem to be any need for the doctor after all.

"I'll go fix dinner," he said brightly, squeezing Nick's shoulder gently. "Call me if you need me, okay?"

* * *

Cody woke to the smell of fresh fish on the grill, aware simultaneously of his stomach rumbling and Nick's hand in his. He opened his eyes slowly, squeezing Nick's hand as he did so.

"Nothing's wrong." Nick's voice sounded a little wobbly as he answered Cody's unspoken question. "You got a little too much sun while we were fishing."

"I remember." Cody squeezed Nick's hand tighter, thinking of his partner's closeness. "You stayed with me."

"Of course I stayed with you." Nick squeezed back, and smiled as Cody sat up. "Feeling okay now?"

"Yup." Cody sighed. "Is Murray cooking the fish?"

"He sure is." Nick's voice wobbled again, and Cody looked at his partner more closely.

Nick had been crying - was still crying, Cody corrected himself. Nick's eyes were huge and dark with emotion, wet eyelashes gleaming in the afternoon light. Cody stared for a moment then reached out for him, sliding an arm around Nick's shoulders and pulling him close. He remembered suddenly how Nick had looked on the deck of the Riptide, pale and faraway, jumping as though he'd seen a ghost.

"You looked after me, but you've been upset all afternoon," Cody said regretfully. "Buddy, I'm sorry. What is it, huh?"

Nick stiffened, but didn't pull away. "Nothing much," he said gruffly. "Nothing... nothing that matters any more."

"So why're you crying?" Cody sat back a little, giving Nick some space, but kept hold of his hand.

"Couldn't help it." Nick shrugged, meeting Cody's eyes. "You... what happened..." He stopped and looked away.

Cody nodded. After all these years, he was pretty much an expert on Nick Ryder. And knowing Nick, this was the first time he'd let himself feel anything at all since the moment Cody had woken up in the hospital. "Come on," he said gently. "Let's give Boz a hand with those fish, huh?"

Nick followed close on Cody's heels down to the galley, and took over the salad-making while Murray put the finishing touches to the fish. Cody, despite his professed willingness to help, contented himself with drinking beer and getting the tartare sauce out of the refrigerator. But the galley was so small that it was easy for him to stand hip-to-hip with Nick, leaning into him slightly. Hands busy with the familiar chore, the galley filled with the smell of cooking fish and the chatter of his two partners, Nick found his breathing steadying, his heart easing. Cody's closeness slowly unwound the terrible tension that had gripped him by the throat.

As they went up the stairs to eat, Cody rested a hand on the small of Nick's back. They ate pressed close together in the corner of the booth, and after dinner, all three of them took beers out onto the fantail.

Nick stretched out into the corner of the bench seat and without waiting for an invitation Cody sat next to him, sliding his hip into the warm space against Nick's. Nick breathed deep, and slid his arm around his partner.

Murray sat down at the other end of the bench. "Boy, I'm glad you're okay, Cody. I got kind of worried while we were fishing - but I guess it was just the sun." He peered myopically down towards his partners. "And at least we caught enough for dinner!"

"You and I did anyhow, Boz." Cody elbowed Nick gently in the ribs, and Nick grinned.

"We can't all get lucky every time," he said reflectively, eyes on Cody.

Cody dropped a hand on his leg and squeezed gently. "As long as we get lucky when it counts, that's all that matters. Like now, for instance," Cody said comfortably, taking a swig of his beer and gesturing at the sky. "A great day fishing, a beautiful sunset, the best friends a guy could ever want to share it with... and another great day to look forward to tomorrow. If that's not luck, you guys, I don't know what is."

Nick closed his eyes and leaned into Cody. When Cody put it that way, he definitely had a point. He took a deep breath. "Here's to luck, you guys."

"To luck!"


End file.
